PERSONAL CHANGE RESOURCES
SELF COMPASSION
Self Compassion
If a close friend came to you because they were going through a tough time, what would you do to help them? Most likely, you would empathize and treat them with kindness. Yet we do not apply the same approach to ourselves, and too often we develop very harsh judgments and become overly critical of our own situation.
“Being human is not about being one particular way; it is about being as life creates you - with your own particular strengths and weaknesses, gifts and challenges, quirks and oddities.”
Kristin Neff, a researcher at University of Austin and a leader in the field of Self Compassion defines self-compassion as being characterized by 4 elements that we can grow in ourselves: 1. self-kindness, 2. a sense of our common humanity, 3. mindfullness, and 4. clear boundaries.
Her research has shown that when we attend to these 4 dynamics for ourselves over time, we grow our resilience and well-being. Self-compassion does not make us lazy or self-involved. We can continue to be aware of our shortcomings and areas for growth, but we can lessen the unhelpful inner critic voice, and reset our intentions and learning orientation for a more fulfilling and productive life.